I lay supine
In a moment of introspection
I was retrospecting,
Deciphering previous choices,
Looking back at highs and lows,
Distinguishing woes from foes,
Tracking back the steps,
Seeking my genesis,
Asking the existential question, why am I here?
Selah
I rummage without pause
In the deep deluge of thoughts
My hands, nails dirty
Is my quest without cause?
What questions ask I,
breathe life into fruit?
As I delve deeper into a vacant pursuit
Utter nonsense could my gospel be
As there’s no gold in being free to flee
What questions ask I
Significant or slight?
In this pensive state,
I ponder upon what would have been,
Could have been,
Should have been,
But was never to be…
If I were to remove even a second of my onerous existence,
Would I still be me?
And if I were to add, would I be a better me?
If I died today would anyone ask for an encore?
Or would they just let it be?
I am yet to pinpoint my purpose,
Like an animal I am relying on instinct,
On the move,
like a bunch of flies,
Too dumb to realise that perhaps I am living a lie,
And I have meaning on this planet,
Yet here I am, just existing because I did not plan it…
I live an unplanned life, one day at a time, wondering if there is something more…
What came before?
The knowledge of life or the seed it bore?
I grind my flesh over sandy floors
Thirsting to acquaint myself
with which breath,
my being was formed
Jerking this vessel into blue sky
But brown attracts brown
So back on ground, my being I found
Forces deplore
My chance of
morphing into spore
to explore the origin
of life brought forth.
What comes after?
I slipped through the folds of the space time continuum,
created a mental synergy between days of old,
Present times and future tales untold,
Strenuously attempting to figure out if there is essence to my presence,
Or if i am just an accident like the big bang,
An incident that will turn out perfectly…
Her Mind, Her Story 