You took a gamble and gave hope other shoot, left everything that seemed promising to return to a place that left you wondering if you were fit to function. Whenever I look at you, I see a young woman trying to defy the odds. I see a person trying to exercise her fully functioning prefrontal… Continue reading Dear 25 year old me
Dear 30 year old self
I've been meaning to write to you, but haven't had the strength to. See a few years ago things got really tough, random feelings of hopelessness that just wouldn't go away. I hope you aren't feeling that too. I want to believe that you are in a better place, that everything is making alot more… Continue reading Dear 30 year old self
Is it suicide if you’re already dead inside?
Could it be that this world is just too rigid for us?
I just need to breathe but I’m suffocating. Even after the deepest breath I’m still gasping for air.
Depressions like that; no matter how free you are there are still chains around your ankles. Weights dragging you down. Boulders tied to your arms.
I’m going to honest – suicide has been playing on my mind a lot recently. It seems increasingly like the only solution to what I’ve been feeling.
I’ve spent the last year telling myself I’ve been getting better. Telling myself I’m recovered. Telling myself I’m fine. But I know I’ve just been lying and I don’t think I can cope anymore. People are saying how proud they are of me for coming this far but all I can see is deceit.
It’s been 5 weeks since I’ve been at univerity and everything just seems to keep getting worse. Maybe it because I’ve not seen my family…
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Morning , 30 June DRC independence day
Good morning... Woke up today from a weird sleep, but in an awesome mood... I just remembered a few minutes today marks 55 years of independence of my country the Democratic Republic of Congo former Zaire 🙂 🙂 super happy and proud to be Congolese right now (despite the bad things happening in DRC right… Continue reading Morning , 30 June DRC independence day
I’m serious this time… hopefully
I don't think I have ever told you, but I'm OBSESSED with losing weight. I'm always trying to get thinner, funny enough I have never dropped below 60kgs. I am 1.76m and currently weight about 65-68kgs, which is the heaviest I have ever been. I love working out and keeping fit yet when my weight… Continue reading I’m serious this time… hopefully