Daily schedule

6 am: pillow soaked, skin inflamed by salty tears, mind distraught... 12 pm: body in fetus position, back burning in the hot sunrays piercing through the window, mind absent in hope to regain composure... 6pm: feet close to electric heat source, candy on tongue, mind indulging in thoughts of a better tomorrow. Muscles slightly tense,…

Morning

Hands shivering, heart pounding, the sun no where to be found, Pillow soiled, eye lids involuntarily shut, stinging headache, All mornings have been like this, spells lasting more than others. Prolonged bathroom breaks, mirror avoidance, silent echoes of silent cries, Noting down emotions, 8 consecutive weeks of putting on a brave face holding on to…

Chapter 3

Growing up wasn't all rosie for me. I faced my own share of self-inflicted and circumstantial hurdles. As a child, I often dreamt of a life a lot simpler and easier. A life where no one would know pain or question their worth, I soon realized that such a life is just a fantasy. I've…

Avoidance

Common chain of thought; okay smile don't let them worry, when asked say "I'll be fine" Mask your inability to write, something you once found pleasure in. Hide your new developed sense of hopeless, remember don't make them worry... Keep it to yourself, no one wants to deal with expressions of emotional distress. The world…

Dear 25 year old me

You took a gamble and gave hope other shoot, left everything that seemed promising to return to a place that left you wondering if you were fit to function. Whenever I look at you, I see a young woman trying to defy the odds. I see a person trying to exercise her fully functioning prefrontal…

Open book

Sitting on my bed thinking about life and how things work. I can't help but wonder if we'll all go through similar experiences at some point in our lives. Will we all experience loneliness? loneliness so deep that you can't pin point when it started. Will we all experience confusion? The inability to distinguish life's…

Manual

Life, something we can never fully prepare for. Like many, I had to learn the hard way, not so great choices weighing on my conscious. If only there was a manual to prepare you for all this. Maybe there is, I just didn't have the privilege to have access to it. See life is very…

It’s Ok

It's okay to feel lost at times,It's okay to cry.Having a fragmented heart does not prevent you from loving wholly, because although we are different, we are one in the fact that we all have the experience of being human and experiencing our fair share of suffering, pain and confusion. It's okay to love again.It's…

Dear 30 year old self

I've been meaning to write to you, but haven't had the strength to. See a few years ago things got really tough, random feelings of hopelessness that just wouldn't go away. I hope you aren't feeling that too. I want to believe that you are in a better place, that everything is making alot more…

Revelations of Time

"It snowed today", she typed.I paused and smiled for a second as I imagined a sight unaccustomed to my African eyes.All I had known my whole life was the yellow sun at its zenith; And yetAlthough we layed in different beds,In different rooms,On opposite sides of the globe,The same sun shun on each of us,Just…