They asked about you and what you meant to me, I had so little to say,

See I’ve always equated your presence with prosperity and peace,

I’ve always told myself that I would be in a better place of you were still here,

If that were the case why do I struggle to explain what perfect would be like.

They asked me to pretend as if you were here, utter the emotions your presence would evoke,

See I always thought that what I wanted, to be able to say ya, he’s fine, he is at work,

I thought I had it all figured out dealt with your absence, I guess I was wrong,

So what I am not going to do is pretend that I am all okay, that I don’t blame the world from tearing me away from your chest,

What I am not doing to do is act as if my life is just fine, as if I know what it feels like to not have to worry about tomorrow,

See, what hurts is that I want to blame someone for leaving me in the cold, for making me wake from my childhood to face the possibilities of going to bed hungry,

I am who I am because you were not here,

I am who I am because I know what it feels like having nothing,

I need to do better to be better,

So I will share my story, I can’t hold it in any longer,

Truth is, I don’t think I can miss someone I never knew…

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